EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.
Falling
in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few
years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY
relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at
all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's
idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.The symptoms of this stage
vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will
notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love
and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression "the labour of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy . And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. ..you can "make" love.
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